


Sugarplum

by tinyglamdramaqueen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Pining, Sex, Smut, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Vaginal Sex, smut is in chapter two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-02-15 17:41:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18674407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyglamdramaqueen/pseuds/tinyglamdramaqueen
Summary: Steve Rogers believed in destiny, and more importantly, love at first sight. Which all started with a beautiful girl moving across the street





	1. Chapter 1

In any love story between two people, there is a beginning, the fateful day they cross paths. The middle, the journey they embark as a couple, all their ups and downs. The middle is crucial, because it can result in two kinds of endings. The breakup, or the happy ending. Steve was a firm believer in true love, he knew he would’ve known the instant he met ‘the one’, that he would’ve married her. It did happen, once in his life, but fate worked in a fucked up way, something he did not expect. 

Steve wasn’t a person who remembered tiny details in his life. He did remember his high school and college graduation, his wedding, the day his daughter was born. But it is surprising that he did remember one in particular, a sunny spring day, he was outside on his driveway, with colored chalks in hand- the ones his mother had gotten him for his birthday. He didn’t remember what he was drawing on the ground, but he did remember seeing the family move in the house across the road, a beautiful brick house, with a garden where the grass grew green.

There was a girl, probably his same age, who walked out of the car, and held her mother by her hand. He probably got some details of that day wrong whenever he told the story, but one thing was certain he knew for sure she turned around and smiled at him, before disappearing inside the house. 

As life would have it, Steve saw her that Monday at his school. His face lit up when he recognised her as the girl who moved in across from his place. She walked so confidently, even though it was her first day of school. She was wearing a white shirt with a sunflower on it, and a denim skirt. Her hair was pulled in a neat ponytail and she had sunflower themed hair clips in it. The first hour in class, he learned her name. Y/N Y/L/N. He desperately wanted to talk to her, but he couldn’t muster enough courage. But then it happened again, during recess. While he scraped his knee by being pushed onto the gravel. He had learnt not to cry, because at home there was something much worse happening. His asshole of a dad had come home one night, when he was in his bed, and started shouting. He did that a lot. His mother would hold him tight afterwards, she’d come upstairs with a split lip, and be there until he fell asleep. 

“Hey stupid head, stop that.” He heard the sweetest voice he had heard say menacingly. He looked up to see the new girl in his class, confronting his bullies. He had never seen that before, someone standing up for him, but she did. 

“Or what?” 

“Or I’ll call my father, he’s the new police chief. And I don’t think you’d do so well in prison…” 

The little boy scoffed and left, and once the commotion had gone down, she offered him a hand. He gladly accepted it, and got up from the ground. 

“I’m Y/N.” She smiled at him as she shook his hand. He knew she was always mature for her age, and even though he knew well boys at that age thought all girls were gross, he didn’t find her gross at all. He found her sweet, and pretty. 

“I’m Steven Rogers.” He said as he shook her hand back. “But my mom calls me Steve.” 

“Well Steve, my dad calls me sugarplum. My mom just calls me Y/N.” 

 

He looked down at the tupperware of ‘heart’ shaped biscuits he had his mom help him with, they didn’t resemble hearts at all. But he figured that batch was better than the ones he had burnt. Y/N was by far the prettiest girl in his grade, so he should’ve known that day, that she would’ve received a lot of heart shaped letters and flowers.  
He felt bad that he couldn’t get her something nicer, maybe some hair accessories, or a bracelet. So it took him a while to gather enough courage, which didn’t happen during break time, nor at lunch time. However by the end of the day, he handed her the Tupperware of hand made biscuits just before she was about to leave. 

“I love biscuits! Thanks Steve!” She smiled at him, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. If that happened to him as an adult, he would have considered it a friendzone move, however to a young Steve, that was love. 

 

And thus started a long friendship, all throughout elementary and middle school, the two had been attached to the hip. Steve sleeping over at Y/N’s for the weekends, and Y/N eating dinner at Steve’s, after they had built a pillow fort in the living room. Those were the time either of them remembered in fragments, but they knew that was the most fun they had. Enter high school. It seemed like nothing had changed, freshmen year and they were still as close as ever. Steve had gained a little more muscle during the summer, which gave him a little more confidence and attention than he was used to. Y/N had no problem fitting in high school, as she had Steve by her side. 

It all changed when Steve joined the football team. At first, Y/N didn’t see any changes. In fact, she even hung out with the popular crowd, the same as Steve’s. It soon changed when she got asked out by Brock Rumlow, captain of the football team. And Steve started spending more afternoons with Sharon, his new girlfriend. 

Y/N wondered if Steve still wanted to be friends with her. After all, he was the coolest guy in school. She wondered at times if he was too cool for her. Steve would have never thought that, as he believe he did not deserve someone like Y/N. It was really hard for him to keep his feelings under wraps. He wished it didn’t bother him so much to see Brock’s arm wrapped around her, but it did, though he did hide it really well. 

That was until they were both invited to a party. Steve didn’t whose party it was, as all the parties he went to looked the same, had the same drinks and the same antics. It was a weekly routine. But he did remember the floral dress Y/N was wearing, and her boyfriend’s letterman jacket . She looked so relaxed, while playing beer pong and jumping up and down when she and Brock won, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him. Steve had never been envious of Brock, but brock was Y/N’s boyfriend. Something he wasn’t and he wanted to be since they were both kids. 

So to drown his ongoing thoughts about his friend, he decided to numb his feelings with booze. Which he soon was a mistake to do so. Steve was never the guy to get hammered, and that night was the only night he was drunk off his mind. He spun his girlfriend around to the sound of a upbeat song, Y/N cheering them on, as she sat on Brock’s lap. 

Completely oblivious at the fact that Steve took every chance he could to glance at her. She would never know he thought of her, more than a guy should think about his platonic friend. He especially thought of her when he was with Sharon. He felt ashamed of dragging her into a meaningless relationship, but he couldn’t help himself, when Y/N started going out with Brock. And she was the first girl who threw herself at him. 

Once the song had ended and the rhythm of the night calmed down a little, Y/N stood up and kissed Brock. It was nothing more than a peck on the lips, but it made Steve’s blood boil with jealousy. And he knew he had no right to be, but he couldn’t help it. 

“I’m going to get myself a drink.” She announced as she walked off into the kitchen. 

“Don’t take too long babe.” 

And with that she disappeared into the kitchen. While everyone was busy, distracted by the loudness of the music, and the flashing strobe lights, Steve managed to sneak off into the kitchen, where Y/N was there, a glass of water in hand. 

“Steve, you startled me.” She took a step back,, thankfully not spilling the glass she held in one hand.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” 

“It’s fine, don’t apologise.”

“So.. how are things going on with you and Brock?”

They hadn’t been alone in a room just the two of them in a long time. For so long Y/N had been his only friend, and enter high school, everything seemed to change. Except his feelings for Y/N grew stronger that night, standing there in front of her. He hated himself for not asking her out when he had the chance. 

“Well I guess they’re going better than expected. Never I would’ve thought I would’ve gotten with someone like him. But I’m glad I did.” 

“Break up with him.” He blurted out, without thinking twice. 

“Steve what are you talking about?” 

“I like you Y/N, I have for the longest time.” Steve looked down awkwardly. “It should’ve been me with you, not Brock.”

“Steve, you’re drunk.” 

“But I’m telling the truth. I like you a lot, I don’t even like Sharon that much.” 

He was telling her the truth, not that she would ever know, as he was very drunk that night. Steve would come to regret that night, as it would be the last night he would have been close to her. He wished he had the guts to tell her when he was sober, or at least have the decency to leave Sharon. Had he realised, they weren’t the only ones in the kitchen, he would have never said the things he had said. 

Of course he knew nothing, until he came back to school on Monday, he wanted to skip that day, as he had no idea how to face Y/N after what he had said. But finally came to the conclusion to own up to what he had confessed to her, because after all those years of pining after her, she finally knew how he felt about her.

Steve couldn’t care less if he had to wait for her to break up with Brock, whether that would’ve taken a week from then or a year. He wanted to be there for her, in any way she let him. 

Just as he walked towards her locker before his first class started, he saw a group of students by her locker, all whispering, gossiping about something. Steve pushed past them, only to see a distraught Y/N. Before he could ask what had happened, she walked up to him. 

“How could you Steve?” Her eyes welled with tears, her voice laced with disappointment and a little hatred. “I trusted you…” 

“What-” As he stared at the bold letters on her lockers in a black marker. Her darkest secret had come out, a secret, only he knew, but now it was out in the open. “I didn’t write that…” 

“You told someone didn’t you?” 

Steve tried to recollect his memories of when he had ever revealed her secret. There was nothing. He was sure he hadn’t told anyone. But how could he be so sure? Maybe he had, and had been too high and drunk to even remember. 

“Y/N, look at me.” Steve’s voice broke. He was upset that she thought he’d do that to her, and that she on the verge of crying. “I would never.”

“Then how-” 

There are some instances in life, in which destiny showed you an answer. In that instance, the answer to her question, came strutting in her knock off leather boots and a tiny graphic tank top that showed off her pierced belly button. 

“Oh sugarplum…” Sharon mocked, two of her minions grinning wide behind her. “You’re delusional if you think Steve doesn’t tell me everything. We tell each other everything. We’re practically the Brangelina of this school. And if you think you can come in between us, then think again sugar.”

“Sharon- Stop it.” Steve warned. 

“Baby I’m just messing with her. Join me for lunch, will ya. I’ll be waiting for you at the cool table.”

“What makes you think I will?” 

“You owe me after what I heard at the party… That was really mean.” She pouted. 

“You’re-” She cut him off with a sloppy kiss. Steve was about to reciprocate, when he remembered Y/N was right there, and pushed Sharon off of him. But she wasn’t there anymore. She had rushed away. Away from him. 

“She won’t ever come in between us again.” Sharon commented with a malicious smirk, as she dragged him to the cafeteria. 

For the rest of high school, while Y/N enjoyed being out of the spotlight. Steve lived under it, becoming homecoming king though he felt terrible about it. Brock had broken up with her the very next day, she had expected it, but it still hurt.

He had never apologized to Y/N, not once, nor attempted to talk to her. Part of which was because she avoided him at all times, making it hard for him to talk to her. He brought it guilt with him always, though he never knew why he never stopped hanging out with the same crowd that had flipped Y/N’s life at school upside down. Hell, he still kept dating Sharon Carter up till prom night, after which he had been found in a hotel room with Maria Hill. Y/N didn’t even bother showing up at prom, and neither at graduation. And that was the last Steve saw of her, or so he thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: angst, SMUT (Please skip the smut if you’re under 18)

He saw her again, during a semester at university. He had no idea that she went to the same university as him, as they had cut off ties in high school. But there she was waiting in line at the coffee shop on campus he used to study at, he smiled at himself. She was talking to a friend, in gym attire.  _ She must have been to the gym _ . He thought to himself. He watched her as her face radiated happiness, just like it used to when they used to hang out all those years ago before he destroyed her in high school. But that was then, maybe things changed. She had cut her hair shorter, which framed her gorgeous face, a face Steve would’ve never forgotten, that sometimes was in his most beautiful dreams. Seeing her again, made him feel something he hadn’t felt in a very long time, he suddenly found himself nervous at the thought of walking up to her. 

She laughed at something her friend had said, which gave him one more reason to enter the coffee shop, just to hear that contagious laugh of hers.    

 

As he opened the door to the small shop, the waft of toasted coffee beans and buttery pastries welcomed him in. Instantly, a couple of people greeted him, a guy he had never seen before high fived him, and a group of girls eyed him as one of them winked at him. None of those people really mattered to him, as she was there. Just about to place her order at the counter. 

 

There was a million ways he could’ve approached her, but he went with the one he’d come to regret when walking to his lecture and during, making him deconcentrated from everything that day. 

 

“Y/N Y/L/N.” He walked up to her, confidently, with a cocky smile. “Fancy seeing you here.”

 

“Steven Rogers. Can’t say I’m happy to see you.” 

 

“You’re sweet darling, I got class to go to.” He winked at her as she scoffed.

 

“Wait- the fuck? I was literally in line before you came in and ruined my day.” 

 

“Sorry, I’m a VIP customer here.” 

 

“That’s not even a thing.” 

 

“Just ask…” he looked at the doe eyed cashier trying to remember her name. He didn’t, because he didn’t bother actually listening. All he knew was that he had discount on all drinks because of her. “ _ Her _ .” 

 

“So fucking employees makes you a VIP customer? Stay classy Rogers.” 

 

“Believe me, sweetheart, I am” He paid for his coffee drink and eyed Y/N from head to toe. He tried his best not to stare at her for too long, but she did look good. She was not a girl any longer.  “It’s always a pleasure seeing you  _ sugarplum _ .” 

 

“Sugarplum?” Wanda looked at her raising her eyebrow, as Steve just smirked and left the bar. “I gotta hear how you know Steve Rogers.” 

 

Y/N scoffed as she took another sip of her beer. “I grew up with him. Total jackass.” 

 

“I’d agree if you if he didn’t have such a perfectly round ass and dreamy eyes.” 

 

“You’re drooling.” 

 

“Well I can’t help it if he’s so hot.” 

  
  


And so she did her very best to avoid him, which was difficult, because everywhere everyone had something to say about Steve Rogers. 

They both thought they’d never see each other again, but then he saw her again, two years after graduating university. His father had died the year prior, which to him was a relief, as he did nothing but put such a heavy burden on his mother. Though it was a hard hit for her, so he went back for a while, to be with her. 

 

That was when he saw her, drinking a martini by herself at the local bar. He had to make sure it was her, after all, she looked different from the last time he had seen her. She had wavy shoulder length hair, and the navy blue dress she was wearing looked so perfect on her, he wondered why she was alone. 

 

“Oh great… it’s you.” She sighed as she tried to wipe away some stray tears. “Just leave me alone ok?”

 

He muttered an ‘ok’, before he proceeded to back off. He had never seen her that upset before, …

 

“Wait… I’m sorry, it’s just I’m in a really bad place right now.” 

 

“I know I’m the last person you want to talk to, but you need someone to listen, I’m here.” 

 

“You know when you want something so much? Something that is just too out of reach? No matter how hard you try, you never seem enough?” He  _ did _ know what she was talking about. And although he knew she wasn’t talking about him, he really did feel a warmth in his heart, as if something that had been turned off for two years, reignited once more. “That was my dream role, and if the casting director thinks I’m shit, then maybe I should just give up.” 

 

“Give up? You’re Y/N Y/L/N, you’re not one to give up. Remember that summer when your mom was against letting you have a tree house, so…”

 

“... I climbed up that tree.” She recalled, chuckling at the memory of her nine year old self refusing to climb down the tree even when her mother threatened her to not feed her dinner that night. Y/N looked down at her drink, more than half of it was gone. 

 

“And you stayed there. I idolized you so much, that’s what I love about you. You never give up on things or people.” 

 

“Love? I was horrible to you. How can you possibly love any part of me?”

 

“Believe it or not, in my mind, we never stopped being friends. Plus, I was the one who treated you so horribly… listen I’m so sorry for that.”

 

“It’s been years. I’m over it.” 

 

“But I do owe you an apology. An actual one. Can we start over?”

 

“Start over? We know each other since we were kids.” He raised his eyebrow. And that was when she remembered something about him. He wasn’t going to answer her until she agreed. 

 

“Ugh Fine.” She rolled her eyes, then extended her hand towards him. “I don’t think we’ve met, I’m Y/N.” 

 

“Steve Rogers, nice to meet you.” 

 

And they got to know each other again, thing was, they already knew half of the things they told each other, like their childhood,  instead they focused on telling each other what they had been up to when they weren’t in each others’ lives. 

 

Turned out Y/N had dropped out of college, which was why he didn’t see her anymore, not that he did before. She took a ticket to the city of dreams and never looked back, until she realized pursuing her dream was much harder than she had previously expected. 

 

Steve smiled as she told him every audition she had been at, that was the Y/N he remembered, not the one who sulked, but the one who jumped at every chance she got in life, and took risks. He wished he was more like that. He wanted to be as impulsive as she was, instead he was stuck in the same town he had grown up in. 

 

And when they seemed to slowly be comfortable with each other, she finally asked: “Want to get out here? It’s getting kind of dull.” Much to Steve’s content, he nodded, and followed her outside the bar. 

 

It almost felt surreal. He was walking beside her, the chill breeze was blowing at her hair and then realised how much he had missed her. Missed seeing her face every day, and it had been so long. Whereas in any other situation, silence would’ve been incredibly awkward, especially if no one had spoken in a while, with Y/N it was completely different. He was totally in the moment, enjoying the night, when she looked at him. 

 

“Where are we going?” 

 

“I don’t know, I was following you.” 

 

“Wait you were? I thought I was supposed to follow you…”

 

She burst into laughter, as she shook her head. “Typical. How about we go to that diner around the corner?” 

 

“It went out of business a few years back. It’s a Mcdonald's now.” He started fidgeting with his hands. Why was he like that? He was usually so smooth. Somehow Y/N turned him back to that awkward kid who was afraid to ask girls out. “Maybe… we could go to my place?”

 

“Sure, why not…as long as you have drinks.”

 

*****************************************************************************************************

 

As  _ Friday I’m in Love, _ played in the background, it harmonized beautifully with her laugh. And he was reminded of why he had fallen for her in the first place. As her dress started to get uncomfortable, she was dressed in nothing but one of his tight shirts, which looked looser on her. 

 

It had been a while since they had so much fun together. 

 

“You sure your mother doesn’t mind me here?” Y/N asked as she poured them another shot of raspberry vodka. 

 

“I doubt she would. She loves you.” 

 

“That’s nice to hear.” She smiled, before they both downed the vodka shot, which burned down his throat, leaving a fruity aftertaste. It had been a while since he drank it. And he feared he didn’t have the stomach for it anymore. 

 

“So, what happened between you and Sharon?” 

 

“Sharon… Carter?” His first ever girlfriend. Although he hadn’t heard that name in a while. 

 

“Yeah that Sharon.” 

 

“Well, prom night, Maria Hill.” 

 

“No fucking way.” She almost choked on the vodka shot she had just taken. “Well I hope that minute was worth it.” 

 

“I don’t know if it was worth it, but definitely worth being rid of Sharon. And it was more than one minute, how dare you assume otherwise.” 

 

“What about you? Are you seeing anyone special?” 

“No one special, just a bunch of unspecial ones.” 

 

Steve couldn’t help but feel jealous, he didn’t expect her to be pure and chaste, but he didn’t like thinking of all the men or even women who had the privilege of sharing her bed even just for a night.

 

“What about you Rogers? Got someone special?” 

 

“No, but I’m waiting for the one.” 

 

“The one?” 

 

“Yes, the one. That girl who’ll make me realise that everyone I’ve met before was just to meet her.”

 

“I really hope you find her.” She looked at him with a genuine smile, to which he felt a flutter in his stomach. Y/N’s hand reached for the bottle of tequila and poured themselves another shot to the brim. Once she had done so, she took one for herself, and handed one to him. “To finding the one.” 

 

“To the one.” 

 

After a shot or two, they… 

 

“What’s on your mind?”

 

“Nothing…”

 

“Just spill Rogers. It’s just us, and booze. We’ll probably forget in the morning.” 

 

“Uh… ok.” 

 

Then something magical happened. She kissed him, she tasted like maraschino cherries and vermouth, but he didn’t mind it one bit. 

 

He hated to know that the next day, she probably wouldn’t have remembered most of the exchange. They were both under the influence, but he didn’t want the moment to end, ever. 

 

She struggled to get his shirt off of him, so he took it off for her. Her eyes got big as saucers when she saw him shirtless. 

 

“ _ Wow _ .” She didn’t realise she had said it out loud, making Steve chuckle flattered. “Come here and undress me already.” 

 

That was when it hit him. He was about to make love to the woman he had always loved. And that made him a little nervous. With each of her garments strewn across the floor, he felt closer to her. He would never know whether she felt the same as he did, but he had no intention of stopping to ask her. 

 

“I’ve wanted nothing more in my entire life, than to be where I am right now.” 

 

“Then what are you waiting for?” She asked. “Do as you wish.” 

 

He cupped her face to go in for another kiss but he stopped before he did so, while wearing a concerned look on his face. 

 

“Is this ok for you?” 

 

“Just stop ask questions. I told you, you can do whatever you want.” 

 

At that point, all of his inhibitions were gone. His eyes as well as his mind darkened with lust, now imagining all the dirty things he always wanted to do to her. And there were a lot. 

 

“I’ve wanted you for so long. You have no idea.” He had dreamt of that exact moment more times than he liked to admit. Though Steve never imagined it would become a reality. 

 

“Good. So have I.” 

 

He swore he felt his heart stop. Y/N had wanted it as much as he did. Maybe if he had worked up the courage earlier, he would’ve been with her all through college. 

 

Not that it mattered anymore, as she was eagerly grinding on top of him, her lips connected to his, leaving no space in between their bodies. 

 

“Tell me what you desire.” Her gaze lingered on those pretty pink lips, and imagined all the things he was capable of. 

 

“ _ You _ .” He realised how that must have sounded. So cliche, and corny. And he knew she didn’t do that. 

 

But she fell for it. Her lips taking over a kiss that was surprisingly better than the one before. 

 

“Stop teasing me, especially if you don’t intend to continue.” 

 

“You don’t pay attention do you?” Y/N lightly chuckled as she guided his hand towards her sex, letting him feel how wet she was for him. “Do you think I don’t intend to let you continue?” 

 

Her pussy squeezed his fingers as soon as they made past her entrance. He shook his head, she quivered as he took over her body with his fingers. 

 

“Fuck, you’re so ready for me.” 

 

“Fuck me.” She moaned, she looked so different. So submissive, begging for him to fill her up. Her hips bucking towards his fingers. “Let me cum.” 

 

“You will, when I’m inside you.” He said, taking his fingers out of her, making her whine at the loss. Steve watched her, how she squirmed, begging for his cock. 

 

He gave in. He was tempted by her legs spread open for him, revealing her glistening sex. Steve, a little too eagerly got rid of his pants, freeing his hardened cock. 

 

How he wanted to tease her, to taste her and to take his time with her. Steve wanted her to know how much he had wanted her. However he knew he had no power the second he slid inside her. 

 

She was so warm, and inviting. Such a tight fit. As if she was made for him. 

 

His cock slid to the hilt, filling her inch by inch, thrusting into her with a steady pace. She felt even better than what he imagined while he had his hand wrapped around himself in high school. 

 

“You wanted this didn’t you?” He asked, in such a primal tone. His cock pumping in and out of her, and she squeezed him every time he thrusted inside of her. “Tell me, have you thought of this happening when we were at that bar?” 

 

“Ye-Yes.” She whimpered, trying to make him fuck her harder. 

 

It was so hard for Steve not to. The way the head sheathed in her, was a sight to behold. Suddenly his thrusts became less and less timed, slamming into her her, making her squeal at the sudden roughness. 

 

Each sound she made was for him, which made him even more ravenous than he already was. 

 

His fingers found their clit, rubbing it in sync with his thrusts. The pleasure he felt was highlighted by the way she looked beneath him, meeting her hips with his, her lips parted so debaucherously, and her eyes, still half open as if wanting to see the pleasure he was feeling. 

 

“Yes! Right there, don’t stop!” She screamed when he pinched her clit, throwing her head back. He loved that her body was so responsive to his touch. 

 

His name fell so beautifully out of her lips. Just the way she said it, he knew she was close, and he was just on the verge as well. 

It took only a couple more pumps before she fell apart around him, her sex clenching around him, her cry accompanied with the look of absolute bliss, had him coming inside of her.  

“I love you so fucking much.” He groaned as his eyes closed shut at the intensity of the orgasm rippled through his body. 

 

However, as clueless as she was, she would never know he had truly meant it. At least not for another few years. 

 

“Let’s go to your room, and do it again.” 

 

*********************************************************************************************************

 

The next morning, when he woke up, he expected to thread his fingers through her hair, gazing in her eyes, maybe cuddling her a bit. But what he woke up to was a different reality. 

 

She was naked, trying to find the clothes they had thrown on the floor of his room. She turned around when she felt his eyes burning on her back. 

 

“So friends?” She asked him casually as she put her bra back on, Steve turning the other way, to not seem rude. 

 

“Yeah, of course.” It broke his heart a little. He had finally kissed her, and made love to her, and now he was getting friendzoned all over again. 

 

“Steve you can turn around. It’s nothing you haven’t seen already.” 

 

“Yeah… right.” Steve shyly turned towards her direction. Her hair very much disheveled, as she tried to make it a little more decent which was a harder task without the help of a hairbrush. 

 

The navy blue dress in the daylight looked a little more different. It had details to it he hadn’t noticed the night before. Somehow she looked better in it than she did the previous night, if it was even possible. 

 

She put her heels back on, sighing as she did so. And Steve understood why. Although those killer contraptions made her look ethereally sexy, and did things to him, he swore he heard her hiss in pain the night before after walking for a while. 

 

As she scurried away from him room, as if they were high schoolers and she had to run away. He expected that to be the end of it. Until he heard a loud audible gasp. He hurriedly ran out in his briefs, not caring he was shirtless, because as she had pointed out, they had seen a lot more of each other. 

 

“Good morning Steven. I guess I’m back from the spa trip.” His mother sat on the kitchen table, with a cup of tea, wearing a visible grin. “Y/N, it’s nice to see you again dear. How have you been?”

 

“I-I have been busy with work, but actually I’m in town for now.” 

 

“I’d love to hear all about it over breakfast. Would you care to stay?” 

 

“I don’t know… is it ok with you Steve?” 

 

Steve has grabbed himself a robe to look decent, his cheeks flushed to a light pink.  _ Was she going to stay for breakfast? Did she actually mean they were just friends, or were they more? _

 

“Of course it’s ok with Stevie. He’s had the biggest crush on you in high school. You should’ve seen him.” 

 

His eyes went wide when he finally processed the words his mother had just said in front of her. He wished he were somewhere else, most likely a place without his mother embarrassing him, which would be anywhere but home. 

 

“Then it’s settled. Looks like I’m staying over for breakfast.” But she ignored his mother’s comment entirely. Offering him a reassuring smile, grabbing his hand, and leading him to the table. 

 

And there it was. His heart racing like crazy. 

 

It was as if she was fit to stay in that picture. Arranging a few more plates on the table with his help, in his mother’s kitchen, as she laughed with his mother, as he turned on the stove to make pancakes.

 

If there was one thing he could ask from fate, he’d ask to give him Y/N, and her heart. As there was nothing else he wanted from life. 

  
  


After they had finished their pancakes and done the dishes much to Sarah’s protests, Y/N gave Steve one last kiss on the cheek before promising they’d soon meet again. Steve was making a beeline to his room when he noticed his mother staring at him. 

 

It was  _ that  _ look. That all knowing look and smirk she gave him every time he wanted to extract a confession out of him. And it usually worked. He shared everything with his mother, but telling him about what happened the night before, with Y/N, would be too much. Even for him. 

“It was time it happened.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“You and Y/N. You make an adorable couple.” 

 

“Oh.” He realised how their exchanges must have looked to an outsider. “Ma, we’re just friends.”

 

“I thought she spent the night here.” 

 

“She did. But…”

 

“Steven Grant Rogers.” She chided. “Don’t tell me it was a one time thing because I don’t think that is the way I raised you.”

 

*******************************************************************************************************

 

Steve knew that was not the last time they would get together. As in the following days, they had met up a couple more times, fully enjoying each other’s company then parting ways the morning after. After a week, it had become a habit. A habit Steve was enjoying a little too much.

 

He had always loved her, right from the moment he had seen her move in across from him as kids. In all those years, she never lacked the same positivity and persistence she had a young girl. Sure, she was beautiful, but he realized there was so much more to her this just beauty. 

 

He had learnt that they shared nothing in common. But that was what being in love meant for him, accepting everything about her. And yet, they weren’t together, not in the way he would’ve wanted to.

 

Days with her went by quickly, they woke up from a passionate night together, she’d run off, and he would get on with work. And then the evening, she’d come over, and they’d have their fun again. That was made easier when she found a cheap apartment nearby. 

 

Though things between them have been let unlabeled, he had finally let himself go. 

It usually would’ve scared him to let his guard down so early on, the thing was he wasn't at all. He felt at home. 

 

He closed the door after leaving a generous tip to the delivery guy, as she fondly stared at him. Or at the pizzas. He didn’t know. Regardless, he enjoyed that look on her, and the t shirt of his she began to use as a sleeping shirt. 

 

She stretched out her arms, awaiting the pizza box to be dropped on her hands. She mouthed a ‘thank you’, giving him a peck on the lips, before hurriedly opening the box. The expression on her face changing all at a sudden. 

 

“I seem to recall you’re the one who enjoys pineapples on pizza.” She looked at the open pizza box in horror, passing it to him. 

“It’s Hawaiian pizza, and it’s the combination of flavours that makes it awesome.”

 

“Italians call that an abomination. You’re a disgrace.” 

 

“Am I? How about you say that again?” 

 

“You  _ are  _ a disgrace.” 

 

“Oh, you’re so gonna regret that.” He said as he proceeded to chase her making her playfully scream. They ran a couple of times around her apartment, until he managed to pin her down on the couch. 

 

“You look real good like this.” 

 

Before she could say anything else, she felt his lips on hers. She never thought she’d enjoy kissing so much, not before she had been with Steve. Each and every kiss he gave her was different. From the rougher lip biting ones, to the softer and gentle. And then there were kisses like that. Passionate, as if he feared her disappearing the next second. 

 

He stopped for a second, and looked at her like he was looking for something in her eyes. 

 

“So do you.” 

 

**************************************************************************************************

 

It was a miracle really, seeing Y/N in his childhood home on a Sunday, passing the bowl of mashed potatoes to his mother, all while exchanging stories. She was just telling his mother about something that happened after graduation, a story she had told him several times. One including a motel room, a broken mirror and several shots of hard liquor. 

 

“I’m really glad to see you again, Y/N. You make Steve really happy.” 

 

“I do?” 

 

“Yes you do. He’s so happy to have you back in his life. He loves you so much.” 

 

“I know, and I love your son too”

 

“Are you two together?” 

 

“No, we haven’t talked about it.” 

 

“What about if he asks you to be his girlfriend?”

 

“Ms. Rogers…”

 

“Please call me Sarah.”

 

“Sarah, we have to talk about it first, but I do love Steve and I don’t want to rush things.” It wasn’t a lie. Ever since she had reunited with Steve, everything seemed to be looking up. Steve was unlike any guy she had ever been with. He was gentle, and sweet not to mention unfairly handsome. She promised she wouldn’t get into a relationship, she just wasn’t the type of person who stayed for the long haul. But with Steve, everything seemed to change. Her prospects, her future seemed to change. And for the first time, Y/N felt fear. 

 

When Steve returned from the kitchen with dessert, Y/N had grown a little more quiet, not to arouse any suspicion from Steve, she still talked a little with Sarah about random topics. 

 

******************************************************************************************************

 

Two weeks passed since the Sunday lunch with Steve’s mother, and life had gone on pretty normally for Steve and Y/N. They had their fair share of sex, but it wasn’t like before, and both of them felt it. They took showers together, without it ending up being a quick rendezvous. They spent many evenings ordering takeout and watching Netflix in the pjs. But the kisses, maybe the most vanilla thing in their repertoire, wasn’t something thrown in as foreplay as it used to be- passionate and raw. It still was, maybe even more. It became an unspoken promise to each other, a promise that they would return to each other after a hard day at work, or a promise they’ll never hurt each other. And she felt it, the intensity of Steve’s love for her through that kiss. A gesture she had always thought of as unimportant. Now was everything to her. Something she looked forward to when she woke up in the morning, or before she fell asleep. 

 

Which was why, after exactly two weeks after having had lunch at Sarah Rogers’ house, she waited in the couch unable to turn on the TV. It pained her knowing what was to happen next. She couldn’t even look at her emails, knowing she’d see something that would upset her. So she waited deciding not to cry. Crying made it all too real. 

 

When she heard the key turn in the lock, she turned her head towards the front door. 

 

“I was thinking we could order some Chinese or we still have some leftover meat sauce from last night to make pasta.” 

 

“Steve can you come here, one moment?” Steve should’ve known it then what was to come, but he genuinely didn’t. As when he did sit next to her, she stole a kiss. And like all of their kisses, it didn’t lack love, nor passion. And it was her promise to him. As she stared into his eyes, the brightest of blues, she bit her lip, trying her hardest not to break down. 

 

“Steve, I’m leaving.” She said outright, she couldn’t take the pain of waiting any longer. 

 

There was a look of confusion on Steve’s face. He didn’t understand what was happening. He didn’t understand what had changed between them. 

 

“Leaving where?”

 

“I got a job in London.” 

 

“London?” She had never mentioned of London to him before, and he wanted to believe she had known this for a short while. He really wanted to believe she told him as soon as she knew. 

 

She nodded as she didn’t want to look at the hurt look in his eyes. Truth was she didn’t want to be there at that moment. She hated herself for the fact that he was hurting because of her. 

 

“Then I’ll fly over whenever I can.” 

 

She could still hear the hope in his voice, so she shook her head. 

 

“We’re not a real couple, we just fuck on occasions.”

 

“Don’t say that.”

 

“It’s true though, isn’t it? Without the sex, I know how it ends. You’ll leave, then I’ll spend the rest of my time there regretting everything.” 

 

“ **_I’ll wait for you._ ** ” 

 

“That’s not what you deserve. You deserve someone who can give you what you want, and I’m not the one.”

 

“That’s not for you to decide.” 

 

“I… don’t love you.” She breathed out, knowing it was what he needed to hear to let go. “But it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.” He let her hug him, though tears were streaming down his cheeks, and he held her for as long as he could. 

 

That was the day he got heartbroken. At two minutes before six, on a Friday. This was unlike any other heartbreaks he had experienced before. 

 

That was the last day he had seen her right there in front of him, because the following years, the only news he’d hear about her was from his mother when he went back for Christmas. He’d see her on his wedding day though,  _ the happiest day of his life _ . 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sad and happy I finished this fic! It’s the very first fic I finished and I’m very proud of it. Now that this is finished, there are so many more fics I plan to write this summer and I can’t wait! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and shoutout to the people who commented, you guys motivated me so much and I can’t thank you enough. ❤️

Funny thing about fate, because one year and a half after he had been the worst heartbreak of his life, he met  _ her _ . The woman who would’ve changed everything. 

Sometimes in life, it is hard to let things go. That one thing Steve could never let go was the idea of Y/N becoming his forever. That was until he had met  _ her _ at an art exhibition. After initial small talk they had gone on and to talk about their shared interests, so he gathered enough courage to ask her out for coffee the next day. She accepted. After that, something incredible happened, a phenomenon that Steve could’ve only explained it to anyone as the ‘falling in love montage’ in rom coms. He let himself go completely, he was once again, as vulnerable as he had only been with Y/N, but this time, he knew she was not letting go. 

 

_ She  _ was different. So, so different from Y/N. Not that he wanted to compare the two women, however it was something his head did on its own. She was down to earth, and wanted the exact same things he wanted from life. 

 

It was a matter of time he proposed to her. At the very place they had met the first time, with the ring that had belonged once to his mother. That was one of the other moments in life he knew he would remember forever. He still remembered her glassy eyes when she started realising he was asking. The lip bite that prevented her from crying in the middle of his speech. 

 

She gave him a small shy nod when he finished, ending up in his arms. He was finally truly happy. 

  
  


And for the longest time, his thoughts weren’t about Y/N. That was until the two months before his wedding, when he was sending out the invitations at his childhood home, alongside his mother, he heard her name for the first time in a very long time. 

 

“Why don’t you invite Y/N to your wedding?” His mother asked while doing dishes as Steve was trying to figure out the seating. he wasn’t sure about how he felt about it, but the name only caught his attention. 

 

“What makes you think she’s gonna come?”

 

“Like she’s gonna miss your big day.” His mother put down the last dish she was drying, and turned to face him. “I’m sure she’s going to appreciate it.” 

 

So he did. He didn’t know where to send it, so he figured he’d send it to agent though the chance of her coming across the letter would’ve been slim. He still tried. A part of him still cared. Little did he know, she would receive his invitation, and with a broken heart, she booked a plane back home just for the occasion. 

 

… 

  
  


And that was the next time he saw her. During his big day. 

 

His bride, looked almost ethereal, she wore a simple mermaid dress, dragging the long train of a veil she decided to wear. She held a small bouquet of calla lilies, her favorites, a small genuine smile creeping up on her rouged lips. She was perfect, the one for him. But then he saw her as well.  _ Y/N _ . Just at the entrance of the church. She had come, just as his mother said she would. Y/N was the complete opposite of his bride. She donned a little black dress, her hair was done in an effortless updo, that was all he could see of her. He knew why he was so in love with her back then, her carefree nature sharply contrasted with his personality. She was so open, and adventurous. Steve realized he was nothing like that. But  _ she _ was. She had a you only live once approach to life that made him envy her a little. He wanted to be as free spirited as she was. But now all he could do was appreciate her beauty from afar, because he had finally gotten over her.

 

…

 

She couldn’t stay there, she didn’t even try to go in. She knew if she did, she’d torture herself over it. Steve was finally happy, and she was happy for him. He had every right to move on from her. She had left him. Not the other way around. 

 

Y/N walked out of the church, and never looked back. She got into the black Mercedes she had come with, and left. She realised the plane ride home would’ve been torturous. There was no way she would’ve survived it with watching rom coms. 

 

So she asked the driver to stop by the local grocery store, just so she could pick up a few things for her flight. 

  
  


It felt awkward. Walking into the store she had been to in her entire childhood, now walking in as an adult, dressed way too fancy. It was obvious she was dressed like that for a special occasion, a wedding, and since everyone in the town was close knit, they would’ve known it was Steve’s wedding. 

 

She tried to avoid being seen, by walking at a fast pace. When she got to the snack aisle, and noticed no one was there, she sighed in relief, grabbing a tube of sour cream and onion Pringles and Funyuns. She was going to eat her feelings on the plane and forget about him, as she always did. 

 

“Y/N Y/L/N?” She came into full view of a woman, probably same age, her once peroxide blonde hair was  now more natural. The only reason why Y/N recognised her was because she hadn’t changed one bit since high school. Physically. Still as fit as she once was, when she was a high school cheerleader. 

 

“Sharon Carter?” If it weren’t for the same face, she would’ve thought she was someone else. She was pushing a shopping cart, and had a kid in it. Probably two or three years old, with her same blond hair. 

 

“Last time we’ve seen each other things were a little different huh?” She said awkwardly. 

 

“How are things?” 

 

“I still live here, only difference is I have this little guy.” Sharon caressed her son’s head. “I worked in the big city, but it just wasn’t for me. Different pace.” 

 

“But you… you’re doing great, I love your movies.” 

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You weren’t here for the Rogers wedding were you?” 

 

“I was. I only had time to drop by. I’m flying out tonight.” Y/n had no idea why she was telling her these things, probably because she was hurt. 

 

“I swear, when I heard that Steve was getting married, I wouldn’t believe it. Especially because I always thought you two would end up together.” 

 

“You’re kidding right? You were with him, and as I recall you hated my guts.”

 

“I did, but only because everyone in high school could see how much Steve was in love with you. You knew that he loved you right?”

 

“No…” Her voice grew small. Fully realising what she had done. She felt like a fool. He had always meant it when he said those three little words. And if she had realised it before, things would’ve gone differently. 

 

“I am sure there is someone out there for you too.”

 

“I don’t know. But it’s ok. I’m fine with it.” She looked down at her phone, and looked at the time. “I have to go now. Take care Sharon. It was nice meeting you.”

 

“Listen… I’m sorry if I treated you real bad in high school. I was insecure, and I projected it on you.” 

 

“No worries, it's water under the bridge.” 

 

“It's kinda embarrassing to ask, but can I ask for a photo with you? My husband would kill me if I didn’t.”

 

_ Husband…  _ Even Sharon had someone who loved her. And for the longest time, she did too. However she managed to screw that up immensely. He was married now. To a woman that wasn’t her. 

 

It wasn’t like she wanted a husband. She didn’t. The thought of marriage always had made her feel uneasy. It just wasn’t her thing. And it would’ve been wrong to string Steve along. And even with that, Steve was the only man she could see herself getting married to. Or having loud screaming babies with. Compromising what she knew, for him. The problem was it took her so long to realise it. 

 

But it all came down to how different they were. Steve was all about the simple life. Becoming a father, living a white picket fence life, in the very city he grew up in. A life she had tried so hard to avoid having herself. 

 

With a heavy heart, she left her hometown, and vowed to never return again. 

  
  


… 

  
  


Now things were different. He felt it as he was getting married to someone else, all he could see now was  _ her _ .  _ She _ was his future now. He could see it already, the white picket fence and the family he always wished for. As for Y/N, he didn’t see her at the reception, nor in the ten years he had been married. She didn’t even come by when his daughter Elizabeth was born. And just like that, for the very first time, it felt like Y/N Y/L/N had vanished entirely from his life. 

  
  


He did see her though, every so often. How couldn’t he? Her face was plastered everywhere. From magazines, to movie posters, she was everywhere. In the years of her absence, he felt upset with her, he didn’t know the exactly reason, but he was. Y/N seemed to be living her best life, with press junkets, filming, interviews, travelling the world, scandalous liaisons with other actors, singers, professional athletes, notorious billionaires… there wasn’t a thing Y/N hadn’t done. And he wanted to hate her. He really wanted to. And he would for a while, until he saw a photo of her. Of how happy she looked. And that hatred would fade away. Steve could never hate her. No matter what they had gone through. 

 

“She’s pretty.” 

 

His ten year old daughter said as she flipped through one of her mother’s magazines. Steve’s eyes darted at the point where she had placed her finger. It was Y/N. Again. Even ten years after he had last seen her, she’d still have a presence in his life somehow. 

 

It didn’t surprise him, given to her increasing popularity. And she truly deserved it. She’d appear sometimes on screen when he and his wife watch a movie on a Saturday night. 

 

“I want to be just like her.” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Uh huh.” She nodded, as she flipped through the pages, where Y/N was still on, posing like she was born to be under the spotlight. Beautiful, as she had always been.“I like her dress. When I grow up, I’m going to have one just like it.” 

 

“She used to live right across from me.” 

 

“No way.” 

 

“She did. She was strong, and fierce, never backed down from a challenge.” 

 

“You were friends?!”

 

“Yeah. We were..” 

 

His eyes scanned over the article beside the photo of her, and read each and every word of her interview. He was glad to know she hadn’t changed one bit, despite them not talking for a very long time. She still managed to be the same positive, radiant person he had always known. 

 

Reading her interview, made it feel like she was there with him. It had been ten years, and still he hated the fact they couldn’t stay friends after what they had gone through. So much had changed since too. It made him chuckle, at the thought of the last happy moments with her. She was working so hard, trying to make her dream a reality. 

 

And now there she was. 

 

On the cover of a world known magazine, walking red carpets, and vacationing in the Bahamas, with the company of equally affluent people. 

 

“What are you guys talking about?” His wife opened the front door, with two grocery bags in hand. “You having fun without me?”

 

“We were reading a magazine. Daddy’s friend is on here.” 

 

“Daddy’s friend?” 

 

Steve hadn’t talked much about Y/N to her. He had mentioned her a few times, but he never told her what she meant to him. As he found it irrelevant to tell her. The truth was he still thought of Y/N, the first few years he started dating his current wife. 

 

When career was in its earliest moments, and already people were talking about her. Though there was a time, when she used to be the girl who used to live across from him. When he used to call her  _ sugarplum _ . His first friend, and crush, as well as his first love, heartbreak and rejection. She was a lot of firsts to him. 

 

“She’s beautiful, just like you mommy.” 

 

And they would have days just like that, the simple wholesome ones for the next three years. 

 

Until one day, they just ceased to exist all together.

 

 It was a hard pill to swallow, and he hadn’t fully processed it, until he saw her casket being lowered down into the ground. His daughter’s sobs was the one thing that hurt him the most, he hated the fact that she was so hurt. He wished he could do something, anything to make her feel better. But nothing he could have said would have made that day better. Because she was dead. His wife, the mother of child, and the love of his life - was gone, and nothing he would’ve said would’ve changed that. 

  
  


It was always hard to let go, two years since she had passed. Two years had passed so slowly, but he still was heartbroken. He didn’t have the heart to put himself out there. He hadn’t even thought of it. Until his friends mentioned it. He couldn’t. 

 

Steve knew she would’ve wanted him to be happy, but it broke his heart too much. Loving without her wasn’t the same. 

 

It had taken him a year, to stop crying himself to sleep, trying to not be heard by his daughter. Just because he stopped crying the year after, didn’t mean he thought of her any less. He did. She’d sometimes appear in his dreams. The good ones. 

 

His mother, had helped a lot during his time of mourning. Liz and him moved in with her, in his childhood home. It was a strange feeling being back there, but somehow it soothed him. 

 

Maybe it was his old room, his old stuff from high school was still there, or the smell of his mother’s home cooking. Whatever it was, it worked. 

 

By the time Christmas rolled around, he found himself in an ugly Santa sweater, and had forced his teenage daughter to wear one as well, to which she didn’t respond well. It was a Rogers family tradition to take in as many strays as possible for Christmas, and that year wasn’t any different. A lot of his mother’s friends had showed up, as well as some of his, Liz’s closest friend and some people he didn’t know of.

 

It was the first Christmas he felt like himself again. He was the old Steve again, checking if everyone was enjoying themselves, while nursing a bottle of beer and talking to his old friends. 

 

He was just about to hear a story by Sam, his old college buddy, about his children, when he was approached by his mother, and excused himself from the conversation. 

 

“Steve dear, would you go check on the cake in the kitchen?” His mother asked when she finally got a hold of him. 

 

“I’m sure its ok, its just cake.” Steve replied, eager to get back to his friends.

 

“Who knows maybe somebody’s kid has their eyes on it. You know how kids can be.” 

 

“Mom, the only ‘kids’ here are Liz and her friend. And they’re old enough to know not to sneak in the kitchen and eat cake.” 

 

“For Christ’s sake, Steven Grant Rogers, get your ass in the kitchen, and do as I asked.” 

 

“Ok, ok, jeez.” What was wrong with his mother? And cake, seriously? That was what she needed him for? 

 

There was something strange about her. He could feel it. 

 

It wasn’t until he reached for the kitchen door, and opened it, that he knew why. He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or not. At first he was confused, his eyes only focused on the color red. Red like his ugly sweater. Red like the dress the woman in front of him was wearing.  

 

“Steve…” His eyes couldn’t believe it, but her voice confirmed her presence. She was right there in front of him. Her hair was done in loose curls,  longer than he remembered. The last time he had seen her inside a gossip magazine. 

 

“Y/N?”

 

“It has been a while.” Her voice broke, as she gave him a gentle smile, almost like a peace offering. 

 

He wanted to make sure this wasn’t a dream.  That he wouldn’t have woken up the next second. He was unable to move, his eyes fixed on her face. It was truly her. 

 

Steve had imagined the day he would’ve come face to face with her, he would’ve asked her why she did it. Why did she left and never contacted him again. Was he no longer worthy of her? Or he would’ve thanked her. For Liz, and his wife. 

 

Along the years, every time he saw her on a billboard, on tv or in a movie theatre, he added the things he wanted to say to her to an imaginary list. 

 

Now that she was in front of him, none of those things came out when he walked up to her. Or when tears started silently streaming down his cheeks, when he put his hand on her cheek, feeling her warmth, taking in the fact that she was there. He forgot everything he had to say, and summarised it in a hug, holding her tightly against him. 

 

_ It had been such a long time.  _

 

She looked up at him, she still looked gorgeous, even when she cried. And smiled again. That smile, that had been etched in his memory since the first day he saw her as a little boy. 

 

They had a lot of catching up to do. 

  
  
  



End file.
